Spooteh's Soapbox

Title: Double Date

Pairings: Destiel, Sartha

Rating: G

Summary: Martha thinks Cas and Dean need a nudge in the right direction. Sam’s subconcious clearly thinks subtlety is not going to work here.

Notes: Takes place in some kind of AU after season 5 where everything doesn’t go to shit after stopping the end of the world. Unhealthy levels of fluff.

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Sometime after the Apocalypse that Wasn’t, after Sam was freed from the Cage, after Dean and Lisa came to the mutual conclusion that this wasn’t working for either of them, after Cas realized he liked being on Earth a whole lot more than he liked being in Heaven, Martha suggests they all go out and celebrate.

“Somewhere nice,” she clarifies; because Dean looks ready to point out they go out plenty.

So Sam makes reservations at the type of restaurant that’s more wine and cheese plate than beer and cheeseburger. As part of his, possibly never-ending, quest to make Castiel able to act like a reasonably normal person, Dean takes Cas out to get some dress clothes that actually fit and no one’s been smote in. This gives Sam the chance he’s been waiting for.

“What are you plotting?” he asks Martha.

She laughs at him. “Please stop making dinner plans sound like schemes. Can’t I just think we deserve a nice night out every once in a while? People who save the world deserve nice things.”

“If by we, you mean you and me, sure. I agree. If by we, you mean us and Dean and Cas, you’ve lost me. Dean does not want or need to have a fancy meal. Cas will stare at the menu in confusion. This is not a good idea.”

Martha sighs and puts on her explaining time travel face. “Have you honestly not noticed?”

And now Sam knows exactly where this conversation is headed. Which is not good. Because, yeah, Sam has noticed. Sam speaks Dean better than anyone, and he likes to think he’s conversational in Cas. He’d have to b willfully ignorant to miss it, but he has also sworn to himself that he will not touch this with a ten foot pole.

“There is no helping them, Martha,” he tries to explain. “Dean is self-worth and commitment issues wrapped in repressed bisexuality, and Cas is still easily confused by human emotion. He probably doesn’t even understand what he’s feeling. You cannot possibly want to wade into that mire.”

“You cannot possibly want to watch them stare soulfully at each other for the rest of your life,” Martha counters. “Look, I’m not suggesting we lock them in a room until they have sex—“

And Sam most definitely does not immediately come up with several sigils they could use to bind Cas if it came to that.

“I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt to give them a nudge in the right direction.”

“By taking them on a double date that we’re not telling them is a double date.”

“Dean is out buying him clothes; they’re dating. They just don’t know it.”

Sam considers mentioning that they don’t buy clothing together, but it seems arbitrary. It’s not as if Martha doesn’t have a point.

So the four of them all get dressed up, and Sam stares at Martha in her dress, because sometimes he forgets how lovely she is.  And he realizes how awful that sounds, but it’s because Martha is smart, and brave, and strong, and he loves her when she’s chanting exorcisms, and telling stories about the Doctor, UNIT, and Torchwood, and firing rock salt shells at spirits. Martha in a dress, Martha who’s taken more than five minutes with her hair and make-up, Martha being feminine, is not what he’s used to, but he loves this side of her just as much.

When he snaps out of his gawking, he expects Dean to make fun of him, but as it turns out, Dean hasn’t noticed. His brother is staring at Castiel, who is just staring back, because Cas still hasn’t really grasped the concept of staring is often creepy. And okay, Sam supposes it’s a little stare-worthy, because it’s Cas in something other than his suit and trench coat, and it looks like he’s tried to tame his hair, because it’s laying much closer to his head than usual. Still, Dean has certainly taken it past the point of acceptable, and then he reaches over and musses Cas’ hair so it returns to its normal gravity defying self.

Dean’s hand is still in Cas’ hair when he seems to realize what he’s doing. He immediately pulls his hand back and tries to shrug nonchalantly.

“It looked wrong,” he says, defensively.

“I like it better this way,” Cas offers.

Dean nods. “Good.”

Sam thinks something over his head might have just happened.

They get through dinner without much incident, which Sam finds hard to believe. Okay, Dean ends up ordering for Cas, because the amount of options with food is still sometimes overwhelming for the angel, which makes the waitress coo at them, but luckily Dean doesn’t notice.

Well, he doesn’t notice until then end of the evening, when she tells them they’re the nicest couples she’s seen in a long time.

“And you all look so good together, too,” she adds with a grin.

“What?” Dean splutters.

Fortunately, the waitress doesn’t notice because Martha is smiling and thanking her.

Dean glances around like he thinks other people might suddenly jump out to tell him he and Cas are a cute couple. “Why does everyone always think I’m gay. Cas and I are friends.”

Cas is staring rather determinedly at his hands, and Sam reassesses his earlier thoughts about Cas not knowing what he feels. He also feels his promise not to meddle breaking under the irrepressible urge to slap some sense into his brother. Because for all that Dean knows Castiel the best, he’s also staggeringly unaware of his emotions.

Actually, Dean is staggeringly unaware of most emotions, period.

“No,” Sam says.

Cas looks up.

And he should stop, he really should, because this is not a nudge, this is a shove, but Sam’s mouth is clearly miles ahead of his brain tonight.

“No, you two are not friends. Frankly, I don’t think you’ve ever been friends. There are some things you can’t share without ending up in love, and stopping the Apocalypse is one of them! And so is pulling someone from Hell. And sacrificing everything you’ve ever known for someone. And trapping an archangel.”

Now that he’s started, Sam is wondering how he’s kept this in for so long.

“Friends do not stare like that. Or have personal space issues like that. And do not tell me it’s because he’s an angel, we all know it’s not.”

Martha is grinning ridiculously next to him, like she’s proud that this is all her fault.

“So just do everyone a favor, and stop pretending like there isn’t a thing between the two of you!”

Sam grabs Martha’s hand and walks away from the table, pulling her after him. That was the type of speech that requires a dramatic exit, although Martha’s laughter is sort of ruining it.

“Wait, stop,” Martha says, tugging at his hand.

She drags him behind a half wall, and they peer over it to watch the aftermath.

For a moment, Sam thinks Dean is going to have the nerve to laugh the whole thing off. He’s still staring at the space Sam was sitting, and Cas is studying his hands again. But then Dean angles himself towards Cas, and he must say his name, because the angel looks up. His face is so hopefully that if Dean screws this up, Sam might have to walk back and punch him.

Dean is speaking again, but Sam and Martha are too far away to hear. A small smile appears on Cas’ face though; a genuinely fond and pleased smile, so that’s probably a good sign. As Dean speaks, his hands inch closer to Castiel’s until they’re covering them.

When they both lean forward, Sam honestly thinks they’re about to kiss.  Which makes him feel like he needs to get out of here now, because while he’s invested in this working, he’s not that invested. Martha is, because she shushes at him when he tries to leave.

Dean and Cas don’t kiss. Instead, they stop inches from each other, hands together on the table, and just… exist in each other’s space or something. It somehow manages to make Sam feel more intrusive than if they had kissed; they’re so wrapped up in each other.

So he looks away to grin at Martha, and she grins right back. They leave hand in hand, feeling pretty damn pleased with themselves.